As I sit here at 2:55 am listening to Neither One of Us by Gladys, I can remember our first date it was a Sat'day. It was so original. Nothing fancy, just a movie and dessert after. That was three years ago and neither one of us could imagine being where we are today. You are my best friend... I can honestly say that no one has impacted my life quite like you have. You came in, cleaned up shop, cleaned me up, cleaned up my act, made me a better me and resumed residency in my heart. You accepted me without apologies. You didn't need too many complex explanations, nor did you seek them. You just wanted me. I think that's the hardest thing for me to see.
After break-up number 2, I knew that we were threw. I was wrong. We both picked up the pieces of what we could and tried to move on. We exuded the characteristics of the perfect relationship - both happy and madly in love. A love that was mended. We both were hurting, but we found it was convenient to go on hurting and pretending.
I keep wondering, "What am I going to do without you?" You've completed me for the past three years. You've dotted my "I"s and crossed my "T"s. You MADE me see a better me. You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. As I wipe these tears from my face and this track continues to play, I remember the first time we made love - you were scared but the love in your eyes outweighed your fear. You had me near and you knew that I wasn't going anywhere. I was there to stay and I guess on today - I was, or at least that's what I thought anyway.
I know what you want. I know what you need. You need me, because I know I need you. It's sad to think that the idea that you have of "us" exists only in your imagination. Yes, my love is REAL, my words are true, but what about you? We were fine until that fatal conversation. We've had lust, relations and conversations to last a life time. And there will be no time that I want a baby's mama, but if marrying you comes with this drama, I'll be alone - at home, and partially withdrawn, but i'll be ok because I'm a survivor. You know this, because you know me. I'm not trying to fuss, but you know just as well as I do that NEITHER one of US wants to be the first to say goodbye.
Zo